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One of the most difficult questions:

“Who’s your role model?”

MANDALAWANGI – PANGRANGO

Senja ini, ketika matahari turun kedalam jurang-jurangmu

Aku datang kembali
Ke dalam ribaanmu, dalam sepimu dan dalam dinginmu

Walaupun setiap orang berbicara tentang manfaat dan guna
Aku bicara padamu tentang cinta dan keindahan
dan aku terima kau dalam keberadaanmu
Seperti kau terima daku

Aku cinta padamu, Pangrango yang dingin dan sepi
Sungaimu adalah nyanyian keabadian tentang tiada
Hutanmu adalah misteri segala
Cintamu dan cintaku adalah kebisuan semesta

Malam itu ketika dingin dan kebisuan menyelimuti Mandalawangi Kau datang kembali
Dan bicara padaku tentang kehampaan semua

“Hidup adalah soal keberanian, menghadapi yang tanda tanya “tanpa kita mengerti, tanpa kita bisa menawar
‘Terimalah dan hadapilah

Dan antara ransel-ransel kosong dan api unggun yang membara
Aku terima ini semua

Melampaui batas-batas hutanmu, melampaui batas-batas jurangmu

Everything Happens for A Reason

. s o u r c e .

What If

I never asked to be born. You as well. So, when cumbersome questions come up suddenly or even it has been buried over long time ago, what should I think? 

What if life is was just a game?

What if I became just an absolutely-free-girl?

What if I chose to get rid of all anxiety, be a liar… if I have known that no human is holy, if everything happens were destiny, if at the end no one care to another?

What if I laid down beneath trees, under the lightless on an uncommon morning sun, then singing as if nobody care.. if I have known I won’t ruin bodies..?

What if I didn’t understand?

What if.

Pikiran Positif: Anti GALAU :D

Hi readers, kembali bersama saya yang (puji Tuhan) tetap baik-baik saja walaupun ujian kuliah maupun ujian hidup menghampiri tak hentinya, saking betahnya nguji saya yang jarang nggak lulus. Lumayan sih diuji mulu, jadi bisa dong apa-apa hehe.

Well it’s already 1 AM and I’ve just away from Chemistry books. Just like usually when sudden ideas come up to mind, what if not to be shared? 

So, readers pasti sering denger beberapa tahun belakangan sebuah kata ‘galau’. Yak, 5 huruf yang terangkai sedemikian rupa sehingga bisa menjeleb-jelebkan mereka-mereka yang parah hati, sedih-sedihan mikirin gebetan, and sooo on suka-suka nyebutnya apa.

Actually, galau itu sebaiknya dihapuskan dari hati dan pikiran sesegera mungkin lho teman.

Life is G(o)od

The goodness of God really is always there. When happy, while difficult, really difficult time. The goodness of God as a surprise both in trouble. As dreams are tucked among the bleak and scary dream. Really there. The Good Lord was to see me, see you, love you. For proof, one day me and you run out of ways to survive, He's always surprising course. Either party by giving leftover food from neighbors, the invention of money the sidelines of old clothes, even when it did not know what to pay rent, the Lord comes to deliver through a scholarship that comes on suddenly like without selection. God is always good to bring me, you, the people who make life more meaningful and alive. Praise and praise, not knowing what is appropriate grateful like to give thanks. Even people who are lazy like me worship according to the ordinances, the Lord is good! God gave me a chance, for you, and happy to share. The proof, there are always new people in my days, your days, which is ready to be friends. Listener and narrator. Beautiful is not it? Even when I, you, hopeless about the trust, the Lord opened the truth. So I, you, stay glued.

Thank God, The Only Everything.

AT THE BEGINNING

At the beginning I want to, but now, no more. At the beginning, you did, and you sometimes still do. But nor I am. Sometimes, it’s you, sometimes I. Even it’s sometimes us.

At the beginning. When splendours still grew up rapidly everywhere. While I was truly need and want to take that chance. And so you did. We grew up better.

At the beginning. That we could see whole things wisely, so we could trust if we really able to trough all challenges for long. We were giving trust and given…

…at the beginning.

At the beginning. Time we laugh for aech moment. Exploring places, life, and both of I and you. Grabbing attentions, never see what were happening truly. And just don’t care.

At the beginning, only before the end.

At the beginning. The word that has no prediction for the ending. 

When You, When I, Just Need Somebody to Talk With

Have you ever felt like a break, a crack, an empty. There around your chest? Or. Inside? I ain’t really sure where is it. Some moments when it suddenly come and come again, it’s tearing somehow. Well I also don’t know how and why. But I know it’s a part of emotion called ‘sadness’.

Have you ever felt such sucks thing? Something which actually can not be hidden from human’s soul, at least we know it. Maybe it’s just not shown. Or, maybe some of us really never felt a sadness. Because you have been feeling it for too many times, that make you just can not cry anymore. Because you have already heartless. 

Have you?

Letter for You from Me

Jakarta, February 2012

Good evening dear,

Will you believe if I tell these all? I bet you will be answering 'no'. Maybe because I'm seemed like playing. Free. So, um, I think I want to have a session with you as soon as possible. Means, it's about a couple of weeks more to pass. It's long because I'm waiting. But It's short because as you know, Time is Money to me. I can produce much in a short time for anything, including you. I don't know why I did initiate to just write this letter. You know, last ninght I just can't sleep thinking about.. yes. YOU. Who are you? You can not guess. Maybe you are not the 'you' who I mean. So, make a preparation to accept that I don't write for you. Dear, I make no paragraph here because I know only you who will be reading it so carefully. You understand what I mean? People won't wonder what is this, because they just don't put much care and I thank to it. I really miss you, with little pleasure and huge anxiety. Why anxious? Because I need to decide soon what should I make to us. I'm not a player so I will prove it. It's been so long time since I hang some. I don't wanna be an irresponsible person. Is it naive? If yes, then so what? Dear, I'm sure I can admit the right one. You know, I'm a great decision maker. That has been bringin you into my considerations, my serious thought and plan. You still not believe? So take a rest firstly and just wait for only days :) 

Rakyat Bukan Butuh BLT

Hai readers, berbaca lagi dengan saya kali ini dengan topik ‘memberi’ untuk rakyat. Hem, basicly, memberi itu memang ke siapa saja. Namun pada konteks ini, saya ingin memfokuskan pemberian untuk rakyat Indonesia yang notabenenya sebagian besar miskin.

Nah, sebenarnya member uang atau barang atau Bantuan Langsung Tunai (BLT) itu salah nggak sih? To the point, saya bilang itu memang salah. Kenapa? Sama saja membuat rakyat manja, MENJADIKAN RALYAT BERMENTAL PEMINTA-MINTA.