What If

I never asked to be born. You as well. So, when cumbersome questions come up suddenly or even it has been buried over long time ago, what should I think? 

What if life is was just a game?

What if I became just an absolutely-free-girl?

What if I chose to get rid of all anxiety, be a liar… if I have known that no human is holy, if everything happens were destiny, if at the end no one care to another?

What if I laid down beneath trees, under the lightless on an uncommon morning sun, then singing as if nobody care.. if I have known I won’t ruin bodies..?

What if I didn’t understand?

What if.
What if I looked kids play happily when I have known they will grow up to be bastards?

What if I knew religious people with no sense of thinking rationally, with no care to humans, with selfishness?

What if I was making friends with agnostic people while knowing them having great faith to give up to whole life..

What if I angry of uncounted betrayal?

What if I then die?

Closing eyes, sleep. What if that was not a sleep?